I had a dream this morning as I was waking up. I was the pastor of a small church that mushroomed in the midst of my dream. We started out in a small building, and as people were coming in, the building kept distorting and growing until there were hundreds participating there in that service. I was teaching on James chapter 1: "Consider it all joy when you encounter various trials." I was teaching that the war was fought in the mind, that joy was a thing to be considered even in the midst of the trials and the struggles of life. I was becoming demonstrative in my dream; the crowd was bringing it on. It was noisy, and they were nodding their heads in agreement. I had just reared to the top of my stature, and was pointing my finger in the air, and beginning to shout, "You are to consider it joy . . . ," when I woke up, and I became sleepily and entirely conscious.
And I said to the Lord, "That is what I desire, Lord, to be the pastor of a large congregation that has all sorts of life and vitality. That is what I desire, Lord . . ." -- and my conscience started to get to me, and I realize that I was coveting; and I confessed, "Yes, Lord, that is what I desire; that is what I actually covet."
And I immediately tried to justify my coveting, "Lord, it is good to desire a good thing -- I think there is even a verse about that, desire eagerly the good things . . ."
And suddenly the message and meaning of the dream began to change, as my thoughts turned into a different direction: "You are to consider it joy . . . when the church is not large, and when ministry is a struggle, and when you have to work at another job, and when the supplies are quite short. For the war is fought in the mind, and you are to consider it joy, even when life is hard, and there is no notoriety, and when it seems all is lost, and your ministry is not even successful."
And then suddenly, the dream, or the message, or the image shifted again. I was still the pastor of a small church, but there were suddenly many in my small congregation. The walls of the church expanded a bit, and I saw the many lives that I've touched, people who were observing my ministry, people who were examining my lifestyle, people who evaluating and scrutinizing Jesus through me -- they were not necessarily adherents to the faith, but they were my congregation, my hearers, my listeners, my examiners, at times, perhaps, even my actual accusers. I was to consider it joy despite the fact that my witness was so non-effective. I was to consider it joy even though the message fell on so many deaf ears.
I have to admit that the war is fought in the mind. I find it so hard to find joy for life so frequently feels like a struggle. I have so many aspirations that I can't seem to realize. Life feels like a failure; so often, I personally feel like a failure. Yet, I am to consider it joy in my heart; I am to orient my life and my mind and my soul to find joy even in the middle of failure.
And so I prayed, "O Lord, help me to reorient my mind to the meaning of joy, to the experience of joy, to the cultivation of joy, even in the midst of my struggle. Give me the outlook of joy even when there are only the sources of sorrow. Help me to find joy even in a life full of frustration and what perpetually looks like defeat. Help me to grasp a glimpse of your joyful perspective where even the futility of this mortal life is ultimately transformed into joy; and keep me living in that joy even in the midst of life's struggle."
The only source of joy in the life of the struggler is the joy that flows from the Spirit. The Spirit within us is a well-spring that springs up with joy unto eternal life. There was a little song I learned as a child, "I have the joy, joy, joy, joy, down in my heart; down in my heart to stay." By the grace of God, we need to orient our lives to that joy. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
