Learning to Sign and to Understand Sign

This past year I have spent working as a Dorm Counselor at the North Dakota State School for the Deaf. It have been an interesting position. It has also been fraught with some challenges. Take ASL (American Sign Language) and communication with the deaf. I came into this job knowing nothing, knowing not a thing about ASL. I have learned on the job. I have made many mistakes. I have, apparently, make several profane mistakes. Imagine, the pastor with the profanity hands. That is what I have been at times. The difference between "Thank You," and F%^& You" is only a mere inch or two; it is the same hand motion, the sign for the profanity originates only one inch lower. It was my first profane mistake; since then I have made several.

This morning I was venting to my wife about my frustrations with God's direction, that it so often is non-verbal, that he does not speak to me, and that if he was speaking, that I must certainly be deaf, for I was not able to hear him. Instantaneously, it flashed through my mind that this must explain the Pharisees' desire for signs. They were deaf to the God that they worshiped; they did not hear his word, and when they did, they did not understand it. Jesus said so himself, their eyes were blinded, and their ears were shut. They were spiritually deaf, so they needed to be spoken to in signs and wonders.

Problem was, they were like I am, without any ability to understand all the signs. I have found that it is one thing to learn to communicate (that is to speak things) in sign; it is an entirely different process to learn to understand the signs that you are seeing. So it was for the Pharisees as well -- and occasionally, also for the disciples. I can see the signs of the deaf, but about the time that I understand the first sign signed, the deaf person has signed five to ten other signs, as I am lost, wondering what the significance of the first sign was in comparison with the sign that I am presently seeing.

So, I started another ancient discipline today in order to try to train myself to discern the God I love and his signs, or his communication to me. I have started today to undertake an hour of silence -- assuming that my life becomes uncluttered enough so that I can free up one hour. I find that with the deaf person I am interacting with, I have to stop him or her frequently, and ask them to repeat themselves, to sign the same thing over and over again. I am doing that with God also; "God, what are you saying? Why do I not get it? What is the context? And is it possible for me to pay attention long enough so that I can get your full sentence?"

We shall see where it takes me. Today I came up with a list of activities that I should do. One was to return to the discipline of blogging from time to time. I have been told by several people recently that my gifting is writing and speaking -- yes, verbally, as I find that I really struggle to sign and to understand sign.